What should I do if I think someone I know has anorexia?

Tips for talking to a friend who may be struggling with an eating disorder.

If you are worried about your friend's eating behaviors and attitudes, it is important to express your concerns in a supportive and loving way. It is also necessary to discuss your concerns early on, rather than waiting until your friend has endured many of the damaging emotional and physical effects of eating disorders.

In a private and relaxed setting, talk to your friend in a calm and caring way about the specific things you have seen or felt that have caused you to worry.

What to say step-by-step

1. Set a time to talk. Set aside a time to talk privately with your friend. Make sure you talk in a quiet place where you won't be distracted.
2. Tell your friend about your concerns. Be honest. Tell your friend about your worries about her or his not eating or over exercising. Tell your friend you are concerned and that you think these things may be a sign of a problem that needs professional help.
3. Ask your friend to talk to a professional. Your friend can talk to a counselor or doctor who knows about eating issues. Offer to help your friend find a counselor or doctor and make an appointment, and offer to go with her or him to the appointment.
4. Avoid conflicts. If your friend won't admit that she or he has a problem, don't push. Be sure to tell your friend you are always there to listen if she or he wants to talk.
5. Don't place shame, blame, or guilt on your friend. Don't say, "You just need to eat." Instead, say things like, "I'm concerned about you because you won't eat breakfast or lunch." Or, "It makes me afraid to hear you throwing up."
6. Don't give simple solutions. Don't say, "If you'd just stop, then things would be fine!"
7. Let your friend know that you will always be there no matter what.

From the National Eating Disorders Association.

Katie Goode, LMFT